Everything I Need Page 11

  Eyes wide.

  Heart pounding.

  Chills rack my body so hard I’m almost convulsing.

  Then I hear her.

  Sweet voice piercing the haze of my dream.

  Then I feel her.

  Small hands running up my chest.

  Then I see her.

  Green eyes full of unease and panic.

  It’s then I realize I’m pinning Keelynn to the bed below me. My arms cocooning her head. My whole body flush with hers, covering her completely. Her arms are pinned between us; the only movement she’s able to make is with her hands as she rubs them along my bare chest. Trying to soothe me. To tame me.

  “Merrick,” she whispers. Voice strained. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” Her voice hitches as tears well then pour from her wide eyes.

  “Motherfucker,” I bite out harshly as I roll off and away from the body I crave. Running my hands over my face, scraping across the stubble that lines my jaw.

  My nightmares have been few and far between lately. Still haunting me. Still reminding me of everything I’ve lost and why I’m here. But ever since I’ve met Keelynn they haven’t been as frequent. Not nearly as bad. And the two other nights I spent wrapped up around her, they weren’t there at all.

  Now, lying in bed with another woman who’s been put in danger because of me, they chase me down. Threaten to tear me apart. It’s like my guilt and conscience are teaming up to take me down. Strip me of the one good thing I’ve got going. Remind me of whom I couldn’t save and what I’m keeping from her.

  Bile starts to rise from my gut, but I swallow it back. Taking deep breaths to calm the churning in my stomach and the heavy beating of my heart.

  Rustling sheets sound off next to me before the mattress shifts and a small, cool hand smoothes along my arm. “Honey,” she breathes out, and I sigh. Her soft, sweet voice comforting me when I don’t fucking deserve it.

  “Yeah,” I grunt. Reverting back to the beast I was when I first met her.

  “What happened? Bad dream?”

  Ignoring her questions, I ask one of my own. “Did I hurt you?”

  From the glow of the moonlight seeping through the slit in the curtains, I see the sheet shift down Keelynn’s body when she moves toward me. Exposing her naked torso and hip to my sight. Flawless olive skin practically glowing.

  She leans into me, no smile gracing her perfect face and lips. Eyes bright with fresh tears. “No,” she whispers. Conviction heavy in her tone, imploring me to believe her.

  I roll to my side to face her, running a hand along the length of her body. Eyes assessing her skin to make sure she isn’t hiding anything.

  Lifting a hand, I trace a finger along her cheek to move her hair out of her face.

  “Will you tell me what happened?” she asks as I continue to look her over. I may have been imitating my dream, but I was gripping her tightly in my haste to protect her from the nightmare that ravages my mind.

  I need to make sure I didn’t hurt her.

  A soft hand rakes through my disheveled hair, causing me to bring my eyes to hers.

  “Please,” she breathes out.

  Clenching my jaw, I tightly squeeze my eyes shut. Trying to think of something to tell her.

  “What are you hiding, honey? What aren’t you telling me?” Guilt rips through my flesh, piercing my heart and soul.

  But I can’t tell her. I can give her a lot of things, but revealing my past and risking her finding out the truth of why I’m here can’t happen.

  Despite how I feel about her. Despite the fact that I’m slowly setting down roots in a town that I’ll eventually have to flee. Leaving her behind.

  Despite it all, I still can’t tell her the truth.

  “The breakin,” I croak out. I clear my throat to rid it of the lump before continuing. “Had me thinking of what could have happened if they were still inside when you got home and if I wasn’t here with you.”

  It isn’t a complete lie. That has to be what triggered it. That and seeing Corsetti’s name again. But it’s nowhere near the truth either. It’ll have to do though. Because I can’t tell her yet.

  If ever.

  “Oh, Merrick. I’m so sorry.” Nothing but honesty filling her features, while nothing but lies weigh me down. “I didn’t even think of how it must have affected you tonight.”

  So damned sweet.

  Bright sunshine.

  Fucking perfection.

  “Just don’t want anything happening to you, Sunshine. Couldn’t fathom it. Live with it. Not you.”

  Now that. That’s all truth. One hundred percent fucking honesty.

  LYING AMONGST THE SHEETS OF my queen-sized bed, I watch the muscles of Merrick’s bare back bunch and pull as he slides on a flannel. The dark jeans he’s wearing riding low on his lean hips. The band of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs peeking out overtop. If he were facing me, I know I’d get an eyeful of the deep V muscles that drive me wild.

  Once it’s on, he turns to me as he begins buttoning the front.

  Yep. There’s the V. Along with a hint of those deliciously ridged abs that also drive me wild.

  Heck. The man does that. All of him.

  A flirty smirk lifts his impossibly full lips when he’s caught me ogling every inch of his muscular frame.

  I don’t care though. He’s a work of art. Strong, chiseled muscles encased in satin soft bronze skin. He’s big yet lean. Not too bulky. The perfect balance.

  Perfect for me. Because along with all that brawn comes brains and a fierce heart. One he doesn’t share easily, but once he does you know you’ve been given the greatest gift there ever was.

  One I intend to cherish forever even if we don’t.

  “Do you have to go?” I ask as he finishes up the last button and makes his way over to me. His long legs eating up the carpet of my bedroom floor in three quick strides.

  I’ve gotten used to him being around these last few days. He hasn’t left since the breakin. Spending every night here with me, wrapped up in each other. During the days, if I haven’t been at Between the Pages, he somehow made it possible to be here with me.

  It’s been amazing. And I don’t want it to end.

  Not ever.

  “‘Fraid so, Sunshine.” Deep, dark voice sliding over my skin like rich, bold coffee.

  I pout then. Not wanting him to leave. Especially when I’m lying here, naked from another round of lovemaking, nothing but pale yellow sheets keeping me from him.

  A rough hand gently tugs said sheet as if he’s read my mind. Pulling the cotton down my torso to settle at my hips, baring my breasts and soft tummy to his dark midnight eyes.

  “Don’t want to, baby. But I’ve got to.” A lone finger trails down my neck, over my shoulder, down to my hip before climbing back up my tummy to a heavy breast. He breathes deep when my nipple pebbles. Blowing the air through his nose.

  “Work called?” My voice husky and full of want.

  He nods at my question. One I’ve asked a handful of times already. “When you were asleep.”

  Apparently, I dozed off after he wrung my body of every pleasure I’ve ever known.

  I nod back right before a small moan breaches my lips at his rough palm scraping across my tip.

  “Wish I didn’t have to. But I’ll be back soon.” His voice gruff, matching my want.

  Then as quick as he started working me up, he’s pulling his hand away, dropping a quick kiss to my lips, and getting up to leave.

  “Don’t move from this spot, Sunshine. Stay as you are. Got plans for that gorgeous body.”

  I feel myself blush at thinking of what he’s planning. “Hurry back,” I practically purr. Ready to get back between these sheets with him.

  I don’t know what he’s done to me. But ever since our first time, I haven’t been able to get enough of him. And these last few days have intensified my feelings tenfold. I’m just as insatiable as he is. And it’s as if the other day flipped a switch for him or somethin
g. Because even though he’s been overly cautious and worried, making sure I’m never left alone, he’s also been more attentive. Even playful at times. Making me smile and laugh.

  Stealing my heart even more.

  “Plan to, Sunshine.” His voice cuts into my train of thought.

  I smile. “Can’t wait.” Meaning more than just about him coming back.

  I can’t wait to see where this takes us, too.

  I grind my teeth as I walk away from a naked and sated Keelynn wrapped up in nothing but bliss and sheets and head out to my truck. Goddamn, I want nothing more than to stay in bed with her. Go another round. Get lost in her luscious body and throaty moans and all that sunshine.

  Fuck.

  But it’s been a few days since the breakin and since I’ve been by the warehouse—not wanting to leave Keelynn, fearing it actually. Because I don’t know what they could have planned for when she’s alone.

  And that’s the worst part of all. Knowing fuck all of what they have planned. Why they’re doing what they’re doing. Why they won’t just come after me. I know their initial plan was to take me out, the fact that my family was collateral damage not fazing them in the least. But now, why not just come after me? Why throw Keelynn into this mess?

  Because you already have by getting involved with her to begin with.

  My conscious rearing its ugly head. Because it’s right. Unknowingly, I got her involved just by being around her.

  And now…now there’s no way I can stay away. Even before the breakin and knowing Corsetti’s men had to be behind it. Having a taste of what she had to offer obliterated any hope I had of staying away and steering clear of her.

  Plus that smile. Goddamn that smile. And those deep green eyes. And all those curves.

  Like she was made for me.

  I hated lying about the phone call—fucking despised it—but it had to be done. Because I need to check things out and try to figure out what the fuck their deal is. I’ve been able to think of nothing else but what this all could mean.

  There were no signs. Nothing on the footage to give them away. The tapes made no mention either. Their movements like every other day. I’d have taken all the fuckers out sooner if I wasn’t looking to get Corsetti, too.

  I mean I know I haven’t been keeping my head down, but I wasn’t announcing myself to the world either. Stayed away from their hangouts and work places and the warehouse. So where the fuck did I go wrong?

  And most importantly, when will they make their next move? Because they will. I know they will.

  So I need to be more diligent than ever. Especially since they have to know I’m here, but haven’t made a move except to send warnings. All against Keelynn. And I know what they’re doing. Exacting what they think is power over me by sending reminders that they can get close to another woman in my life. But what has me confused as fuck is why they haven’t done more. Why are they just sending warnings instead of acting out immediately? Like they did with…my eyes slam shut as I start the engine. Pain consuming me for a flash before anger scalds my skin like a branding iron.

  That’s why I need to get out there, survey the scene, and plot my attack. Figure out when to set plans in motion.

  To eliminate the ones who caused so much destruction.

  And to make sure they can’t wreak their havoc again.

  “SO…” CAMPBELL DRAWS OUT THE word. Giving me side eye from across the counter she’s leaning on. “You and Merrick have been spending an awful lot of time together lately.”

  It’s not a question. It’s a statement, because she knows it’s true.

  I can feel the blush creep into the apples of my cheeks as my mind runs over the last couple of weeks with Merrick.

  All the laughs.

  The kissing.

  The late nights getting lost in one another and early mornings repeating every touch.

  I roll my lips between my teeth and offer a shrug while keeping my eyes cast down at the packing list of the latest shipment of paperbacks.

  “Oh, don’t you play coy with me, Keelynn Masters!” She slaps her palms to the surface separating us, causing my head to jerk up. Her pretty face is split into a huge knowing grin. “That man has barely left your side in two weeks,” she exclaims as her hands wave wildly in front of her. “Spending his nights with you. Walking you to and from the shop. Ever since the night of family dinner and he offered to drive you home you’ve been inseparable. Now you tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on, Campbell. And please lower your voice. You do remember that inside voice you’re always reminding LeeLee about, right?” I quirk a brow and a smirk. Calling her out.

  “Oh, please.” She waves a hand between us. “There’s no one in here but Toni and even if there was, my outside voice is still a whisper compared to Lena’s inside one.”

  I just huff out a giggle at her reasoning and shake my head.

  “Now quit stalling and tell me! Are you two a couple or what?”

  She’s practically bouncing on the spot she’s so excited. Her green eyes wide, awaiting my answer.

  But as her excitement grows and her smile stretches, mine starts to dissipate and falls right from my face, because the truth is I really don’t know what’s going on with us. Since the breakin, the one Campbell does not and will not know about, Merrick hasn’t left my side except to go to work. Which he seems to be doing a good amount of lately at all hours of the day.

  But besides that, he’s with me. If I’m here at Between the Pages he stops by to checkin or to close up shop with me. And each night we have dinner together before falling into bed wrapped up in each other’s arms. He hasn’t left and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I ever want him to. I’m getting used to him being around, getting used to sharing space with someone again.

  Campbell clears her throat while tapping her painted teal nails against the counter. Breaking me from my thoughts as she waits on my response.

  Patience was never her virtue.

  I look over at her. “I meant what I said. I don’t know what’s going on with us. We just sort of…happened, but we haven’t discussed what that means. What we mean.”

  “Well.” She eyes me again. Obviously not liking my answer. “Whatever’s going on with you two, it sure looks good on you, sister.”

  That blush creeps in again and a smile stretches my cheeks, matching hers. “Yeah,” I whisper.

  “I second that,” is all of a sudden shouted from a few bookshelves over. Breaking the moment. Campbell and I burst into a fit of giggles when Toni pokes her head out from between them and looks right at us. “That boy has made you smile more than I’ve seen in a long time—and that’s saying something.” She pauses for effect. “Sunshine.” Her tone mocking and full of tease as she moves from behind the bookshelf.

  So sassy.

  I feel that blush deepen at hearing her use Merrick’s nickname for me.

  “Yeah…Sunshine,” Campbell adds. Joining in on the mockery and teasing.

  These two, I tell ya.

  “In all seriousness though,” Toni cuts into the giggling. “He seems like a good man and if he can make you look this happy. Put that smile on your face.” She points to my lips and the smile I didn’t even realize I was wearing. “Then he’s A-okay in my book.”

  With a firm nod and a pat to my behind, as if her word’s final, she’s on her way in a flourish of jingle jangles. Her wrist full of bracelets clanging together, white hair streaked teal, and a long purple turtleneck sweater overtop black knitted leggings.

  Campbell and I just look at each other then watch her go.

  Well, that’s that then.

  Exhaustion weighs down each booted step I make as I walk into the local market. Keelynn texted me about needing a couple of things and asked if I could pick them up on my way home since she was already there.

  Yeah.

  Home.

  As if that’s what we’re making in her’s because I haven�
�t fucking left since the breakin two weeks ago. I didn’t correct her because it damn sure feels like it.

  Home.

  That’s what she’s becoming to me.

  So like the pussy I am, I couldn’t say no. So here I am after work, making the stop.

  But I’m fucking beat. Between working for Michaels Bros., staking out Corsetti’s men, and my late nights and early mornings learning every deep curve and moan of pleasure from Keelynn, I’ve barely been getting any sleep.

  As I walk from aisle to aisle getting the few things from her text, my eyes scan the people around me. It’s been a couple of weeks since the breakin. But I’m not taking any chances. I know they know I’m here.

  And they know that I know now, they have to. It’s a jumbled fucking mess, one I can’t figure out, because I’ve been so fucking precise and careful. But somehow they found me out. And until I find the right time to take them out, I have to be more vigilant than ever.

  The pitter-patter of little feet hits the linoleum tile behind me, breaking me from my thoughts right before a delighted squeal pierces the air. “Momma, look who it is!”

  Turning at the familiar little voice, I see Lena hightailing it right toward me. Blonde curls flying around her pretty little face as Campbell trails with a knowing smile on her face.

  I drop my basket just in time before Lena’s small body launches into mine.

  An oomph leaves my mouth as I rock back a half step at the impact.

  For six, she’s a strong little thing.

  “Hey, Mr. Merrick!” She giggles through her excitement. Little arms wrapping right around my neck.

  Her joy radiates off of her in waves, crashing over me, causing a small smile to lift my lips. “Hey there, LeeLee.”

  I give her another squeeze before setting her down on her pink glittered boots. She beams up at me as Campbell places a hand to her head. Fingers running through blonde curls. “Hey, hey,” she greets through a smile that’s similar to Keelynn’s. But doesn’t have the same effect—that punch to the chest that Keelynn’s has.

  “Campbell,” I greet right back.

  “How’ve you been, Merrick?” Her tone loaded with a hell of a lot more than that one question.