Everything I Need Read online

  Copyright © 2016 Lucia Grace All Rights Reserved

  Published by: Lucia Grace

  Cover Design by: ACE Designs

  Edited by: Wild Rose Editing

  Formatted by: Champagne Formats

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form without written permission except for use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales, is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Acknowledgements

  Other Books

  About the Author

  To Mimi and Grampy.

  For showing me what true love looks like. At any age.

  You are my sunshine.

  And to second chances. At love and in life.

  Because none of us are perfect and we all deserve to find our light during the dark times.

  And I loved her, all of her, for how I watched her crawl beneath my skin and into my soul. And I loved her, all of her, for how she would glide over my dark fields and leave trails of roses left to grow. And I loved her, all of her, for how she devoured me whole and made sense of all my bones. But most of all, I loved her, all of her, for healing my pieces and guiding them all back home.

  —R.M. Drake

  “HIGHER, DADDY. PUSH ME HIGHER!” Lila’s angelic voice shrills through the air. Her sweet giggle following.

  A smile stretches across my stubbled face as I push her higher on the swing set in our backyard. Her small shoulders bounce with the force of her joy. Black curls bouncing in pigtails on top of her head.

  I hear a laugh behind me and look over my shoulder to see my wife, Stacy, walking toward us. Broad smile across her beautiful face. Blue eyes shining and black hair pulled up off her shoulders to help ward off the humid heat of the Maryland summer.

  “Not too high, sweetie. We don’t want you falling,” she says as she walks up next to us. Setting a pitcher of lemonade and glasses onto the patio table.

  “Don’t be silly, Mama. Daddy would never let me fall. Would you, Daddy?” Lila looks over her shoulder as she swings back and forth. Blinding smile brighter than the sun searing me on the spot.

  “That’s right, baby.” I smile to reassure her. I’d rather rip my flesh from my bones than allow anything to happen to her or her mother. My girls are everything to me. Absolutely everything.

  Stacy shakes her head through a laugh before placing a hand to my back. Leaning up on tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Be careful with her, Agent Hughes,” she whispers before dropping to flat feet. Despite her smile, I can sense the worry in her voice.

  Nodding, I let Lila swing without pushing her. It takes her a second to notice, and when she turns to look over her shoulder at me again, I snatch her up from the swing. A giggled squeal rips through the air as I toss her up once before catching her and bringing her to my chest. Her little arms around my neck.

  “Daddy!” She continues to giggle as I use one hand to tickle her sides. She starts squirming from my attack. A laugh bubbles up from my chest at her infectious laughter.

  Placing a kiss to her head, I set her on her feet and she skips right over to her mother.

  “Mama, Mama! The tickle monster is loose,” she yells. Wrapping her arms around Stacy’s legs and hiding behind them. Peeking her cute as hell five-year-old face around to stick her tongue out at me.

  “Not the tickle monster,” Stacy gasps mockingly as she plays along. A hand to her chest. A laugh lilting from her lips, too.

  Walking up to the two reasons I am the man I am today, I bend to kiss my wife’s lips and place a large hand to my daughter’s head. Contentment filling my chest. “I love you,” I murmur, “so fucking much.”

  “Language,” she scolds through a smile. “We love you too, baby. So much.”

  I smile for the millionth time that day. Wondering how the fuck I got so lucky.

  “Now, who wants lemonade?” she asks as I step away and we walk to the patio table.

  Lila and I both raise a hand with smiles on our faces.

  Then all of a sudden a spray of bullets explode around us. Wood splinters and rains down through the air. The swing set next to us shattering before my eyes.

  We all freeze for a split second too long.

  Lila’s giggle turns into a shriek of terror and Stacy’s beautiful face turns ashen with fear and panic. Her wide blue eyes locking on mine before her body jolts. A loud gasp escapes her mouth as she drops to the ground.

  I snap into action, pulling a hysterical Lila to my chest and hitting the ground. Her tears and screams and sobs tearing through me.

  Shielding her as I crawl the few steps to Stacy, as low to the ground as I can. I cover her body with Lila’s and mine. Keeping my back visible, my arms caged around my wife and daughter.

  My breathing is erratic and frantic, then turns labored as pain explodes through my back, shoulder, and abdomen.

  A heated flush covers my skin before shivers rack my body.

  “Lila… Stacy…” My muttered words falling on deaf ears as they barely pass my lips.

  Then as quickly as it happened, silence surrounds us. The only thing I can hear is the dull beating of my heart.

  No cries of terror.

  No gasps of pain.

  Nothing.

  Just silence.

  Then darkness.

  MY EYES FLASH OPEN. SWEAT soaking through to the sheets below me. My heart pounding against my chest. Goose bumps erupting across my heated skin. Chills of the past rack my body.

  I relive the same nightmare every night. It never fails.

  My daughter’s giggle. My wife’s smiling face. Then carnage and blood and death. My life ripped out from under me. My girls taken in the most brutal way.

  When I woke up in the hospital almost forty-eight hours later, alone and riddled with bullet holes, I didn’t think things could get worse. Until my brain registered what had happened and I was informed I was the sole survivor.

  I exploded in a fit of rage and heartbreak. My heart and entire fucking world crumbling around me. It took two doctors and four nurses to hold me down for another doctor to inject me with a sedative.

  That was the day my life changed forever.

  Gone was the clean-cut, top-ranking FBI agent with
a loving family. In his place was a shell of a man, scorned so savagely that he’d stop at nothing to seek revenge.

  Shaking my head and fighting off tears, my mind starts to run in circles with thoughts of my past. But I beat them back. It’s no use. They’re lost forever. I’ll never get them back—never have them back. As much as I miss them, remembering the memories, the good times, is too painful. I’d rather remember that day because all it breeds is anger. And anger I can do. I feed from anger, live and breathe it.

  Looking over at the clock on the microwave, I see it reads four a.m. I know I won’t be able to sleep now. So I spin and set my feet to the floor of the studio apartment I started renting last week and look around the sparse space. A lone couch separates what would be the small living room that holds a tiny box set TV and a kitchenette with a small table for two. My duffle bag is near the side table by the couch, the one lamp I forgot to turn off last night still lit.

  Cracking my neck side to side, plans start forming in my head, and thoughts of how close I am to finally taking them all out bleeds victory through my veins. I just need to be patient. I’ve waited almost three years already. I can wait a few more months to bring these motherfuckers down.

  After over a year of recovery and mourning, I spent six months trying to nail down who was behind the hit. Being in the FBI, and a top agent at such a young age, I made many enemies in my short two years with the agency. After some extensive research, I discovered the recently imprisoned Mario Corsetti had his men carry it out. The piece of shit mob boss, for the low-ranking Palombo crime family, held a fucking grudge for us busting his ass on racketeering charges.

  And it cost me everything.

  Now, I’ve spent the last year and a half of my life tracking their every move. I’ve followed his men around the country. From Nevada to Mississippi and now to a small coastal town in New Hampshire. Their front for a plumbing company being just that, a front, made to get them just close enough to run numbers and hits in Boston. But it keeps them at a far enough distance to make an easy getaway if needed.

  But their time is up. New Hampshire will be their last stop. And Mario and his men will be fucking obliterated.

  “THANKS SO MUCH, MRS. BRIMFIELD.” I smile wide from behind the counter. “Come again,” I add on when she waves over her shoulder before walking out. Her canvas bag of purchases slung over her shoulder.

  Tossing her credit card receipt into the register, I shut the drawer and go back to unboxing the latest shipment of paperbacks we got in this morning.

  “Toni, can you come help me?” I call out to my one and only employee.

  I’ve owned my bookstore, Between the Pages, for a little over two years now. I’ve been an avid reader and lover of fairytales and happily ever afters since I was a little girl. And when this space opened up at a time when I needed it most, I decided to use the money my late grandparents left me so I could follow my dreams.

  The layout is perfect. A wide-open space, with built-in bookshelves along the back wall. Large windows give off a ton of natural light. And my favorite part of the whole place, a little nook created by a boxed-in bay window at the side of the store. It’s perfect for getting lost between the pages.

  A smile lifts my lips when I look over at my favorite reading spot.

  Shaken from my thoughts, I hear, “Sure thing, Boss Lady,” hollered from the back of the store and just shake my head and laugh. Good thing the store’s empty.

  Toni is a sixty-eight-year-old retired postal worker. She delivered the mail in our small town for thirty-five years before she retired a few years back. So she knows everyone and anyone around here. Then, sadly, when her husband died early last year she found she needed something to fill the quiet. So when I put a help wanted sign in the window when things started picking up around here, she jumped at the chance. She’s worked for me ever since.

  And she adds the right amount of spunk and sass this store needs.

  Coming from between the bookshelves, Toni emerges with her snow-white hair streaked with pink, floral peasant top, and bell-bottom jeans. “What can I help you with?” Her smile is warm and friendly.

  “Mind bringing these few stacks of children’s books to the children’s section for me? I already cleared some space on a shelf.”

  “You got it, Boss Lady,” she replies with enthusiasm and the nickname she gave me the day I hired her. Despite her being forty-four years my senior.

  She has me shaking my head again and smiling wide.

  As I bend down to retrieve another box, I hear the door open before a flurry of footsteps scamper into the store.

  “Auntie KeeKee, Auntie KeeKee. Look what I made!” My smile turns megawatt when I hear the sweet voice of my six-year-old niece, Lena, shout out.

  “Shh, Lena. What have I told you about your inside voice?” my older sister, Campbell, scolds.

  Turning around, I see my beautiful sister walking through the door and shaking her head at her daughter.

  Campbell and I are four years apart and if you didn’t know we were sisters, then you may not be able to tell at all. We’re both on the shorter side. Her at five four and me at five two. But whereas she has blonde hair and fair skin, my hair is a dark brown and my skin holds a golden hue all year long. She’s lean and trim, with sleek curves, whereas I have a roadmap of deep curves with my hourglass figure.

  We do share one feature though. Our eyes. We have the same deep shade of green with gold flecks.

  The same as our gramma’s.

  “Oh pish posh, lighten up, sis.” She shakes her head and mock glares at me. “What’s my LeeLee have to show me?” My voice matching her excitement. And volume.

  When she makes it to the counter she doesn’t even bother coming behind, she just shoves what she has to show me on top. Looking down, I see a macaroni necklace made with different colored noodles.

  “Whoa, this is the coolest thing ever!”

  Her little blonde head nods excitedly. “I know,” she exclaims. “Mommy and I have one, too.” She steps back so I can see the necklace around her neck. “See? We match.”

  Her smile is so big and blinding it melts my heart right there on the spot. Picking up the necklace, I slip it over my head and pull my long, dark hair from beneath it before touching it at my neck. “I see. It’s perfect.”

  She beams up at me. So proud.

  “It’s like we’re triplets,” Campbell speaks up, and I see she has a necklace around her neck, too. She ruffles the hair on her daughter’s head, making Lena squeal and laugh. “Sweetie, why don’t you go pick out a book while Auntie KeeKee and I talk?”

  “Toni’s putting up a new one on the shelves now. I think you’ll love it,” I add on while I look at my sister in question.

  “Awesome,” she rushes out before dumping her backpack on the floor and rushing off.

  “Whew, that girl is a full-on hurricane when she wants to be.” Campbell smiles after her daughter before looking at me. Medium length blonde hair swishing around her shoulders. “How’s today, sister?”

  “Today is good. New shipments. Some sales. But why’d you send Lena off? What’s up?” She knew I’d catch on by the look that crosses her face.

  “Mason has someone he wants you to meet.”

  I roll my eyes and groan out loud. My forehead hitting my folded arms on the counter. Campbell’s loving and faithful husband of seven years is truly an amazing guy. But he has it stuck in his head that he needs to set me up with someone, that I’d be happier and not so lonely. He means well, and is just trying to ease my aching heart since I lost Trevor, but it has barely even been two years yet. I’m still finding my ground after losing my high school sweetheart.

  Lifting my head, I look at my fidgeting sister and stare at her. “What? You know how persistent he is,” she tries to explain in way of an apology for putting me through this conversation again.

  “Listen, I love Mason as if he were my own brother. You know this. He’s a great husband to you and an amazin
g father to LeeLee. But no way in all that is holy am I allowing him to set me up with anyone. So, just like the last four times, my answer is a resounding no.”

  “You know, it may not be such a bad idea,” she whispers. Normally, my sister agrees with me, but apparently she’s drinking the Kool-Aid where this one’s concerned. “No one would blame you for wanting to start dating. We just want you to be happy, KeeKee.” Her face full of nothing but love and support.

  Ah. This is what it’s all about. Not the guy, but the situation.

  “Campbell, I love you and Mason. And I appreciate you both. So much. You both, along with LeeLee, made it possible to survive these last couple of years. But I’m not ready yet, and when I am I won’t be asking my brother-in-law to set me up. Okay?”

  I understand she’s worried, but when I’m ready I’ll know it.

  Trevor and I started dating when I was a sophomore and he was a senior. He was one of the hottest and most popular guys in school. He played sports. His smile was contagious. His rumpled dirty blond hair and blue eyes gave him that boy next door look. And he had a heart of gold. From day one we were inseparable and he never once let the flack he took from his buddies bother him. I just want to be with you. Always. He’d say through a smile, melt my heart, then kiss me on the cheek.

  He helped me get through the loss of both of my grandparents not long after we became a couple. The back-to-back losses destroying the little family Campbell and I had. And from the night of my gramma’s funeral, I knew I was in love with him something fierce. He never left me. Not once. He held me through all of my tears. He helped Campbell move back home. He helped me heal.