Everything I Need Read online

  “I love you,” she whispers with such emotion her voice shakes.

  Those three words have me losing control and pounding into her. I’ll never tire of hearing those words leave her perfect lips.

  The way they make me feel whole.

  Like a rocket, she goes off. Moaning and writhing on my cock.

  As her pussy flutters around me, I pump twice more before losing myself inside of her.

  Our breathing evens and settles and I drop a kiss to her bare shoulder. Dragging my tongue up the curve of her neck. Nipping her ear. “I love you, too, Sunshine,” I vow.

  Goddamn do I. More than life itself.

  Never thought I’d get that again. Never thought I’d feel it again. But with Keelynn it was natural, meant to be, fucking fate.

  Not loving her was never an option. My heart and soul already tethered and bound to her somehow. Making her mine from day one.

  And thank fuck for that. Because she saved me from myself, from my grief. Her love becoming absolutely everything I need.

  Ten Years Later

  GREEN EYES AND A WIDE, beaming smile greet me from across the backyard where I stand reflecting on what this day means for me.

  Brightening my somber mood.

  Lightening my heavy heart.

  The pain and heartbreak this day brings each year never gets any easier. No matter how many years pass. The wounds and scars and memories just as deep and dark and haunting.

  Thirteen years and they still cross my mind every day. I still honor their memory each year. They still own a special corner of my heart.

  The one I never thought would beat again.

  Not until Keelynn shined her loving light and sunshine smile on me. From day one I was a goner. Just didn’t know it until it was too late and she had me wrapped up in everything her.

  Thirteen years ago today I thought my life as I knew it was over. That I’d never be happy again, never love again. Never be loved again. Never be a father and watch my children grow up.

  But Keelynn…she changed that all for me.

  She likes to say I was the one that saved her from the loneliness she suffered after losing Trevor. Still carried from losing her grandparents, her caregivers, at such an important age.

  But it’s her. She saved me. Resurrected the man I thought died along with Stacy and Lila.

  “Daddy!” That wide smile squeals. Green eyes squinting and long, dark hair flowing behind her as she runs at me. Little arms flailing about. Pink dress swooshing at her knees.

  Scooping her up when she launches herself at me, I bring my gorgeous four-year-old daughter close to my chest, closer to my heart, soaking up all her goodness and love.

  “Angel,” I murmur against the top of her soft hair. The strawberry scent of her shampoo soaking into my senses. Calming me just like her momma does.

  Ellie—named after Keelynn’s Gramma—is the spitting image of her mother. From her looks to her sweet disposition. I’m a damn lucky man to get double the goodness and love and sunshine they both shine around them.

  “Momma fought you needed a Ellie hug.” Little arms wrap around my neck and squeeze with all her little girl might. Drowning my heart in nothing but love.

  “Momma was right,” I answer as I squeeze back.

  And damn was she. Keelynn always knows what I need before I even say it. Knowing me. Really knowing me. My heart and soul.

  Knowing that the love of my little girl—of my family—is the only way I’m able to get through this day.

  Looking over Ellie’s head that’s now pillowed onto my shoulder, I see my wife walking my way. Our eight-year-old son, Emerick, walking at her side.

  Where Ellie is all her momma, my son is all me. Dark hair. Dark eyes.

  Quiet.

  Intuitive.

  Protective. Especially of his momma and little sister. Just like I taught him to be.

  When they reach my side I palm Emerick’s shaggy, dark head, while keeping my other arm wrapped protectively around his sister, and pull him into my side. Needing his rough and tumble just as much as Ellie’s rainbows and butterflies.

  “Hey, Dad,” he greets me as his arms wind around my waist for a moment. Squeezing tight before letting go.

  “Son.” Ellie doesn’t really understand what today means, the significance it holds, but my boy does. And just like he thinks over everything else, and feels it deep, I know this is no different. He may be all boy, but he knows when something’s important.

  And he knows the meaning of family.

  Next is my gorgeous wife. Pulling up close to Emerick who’s still next to me, sidling up to my side next to him and kissing my cheek.

  “You doing okay, honey?” Her sweet voice never ceases to hit me like whiskey. A sweet burn with a smooth finish. And her heart. Fuck if it doesn’t make me melt like a goddamn pussy that she understands. She gets it. Even after all these years she gets that they’ll always be a part of my life. And she never once has made me feel guilty for it.

  Just loving me through it all. Every single day of every year we’ve been together.

  Even when I fucked up all those years ago and almost lost it all.

  Again.

  Almost lost her twice in twenty-four hours. Despite my fuck ups, my deceit, she forgave me. Stood by me. Loved me anyway.

  I’m a damn lucky man.

  Not only because she allows my past to be a part of our future, and that she forgave me all those years ago for all I kept from her, but because of the woman she is. That she’s always been.

  Loving.

  Kind.

  Blinding light.

  Fucking perfection.

  “Doing all right,” I finally answer. Looking down at my wife, my kids.

  Because I am. Better than all right actually. My family making sure of that every day.

  “We got lucky,” she whispers into my shoulder not tucked under our daughter as she turns in to place a kiss there. An arm going around our son who’s now standing in front of me, right next to his mother.

  Yeah, we did. And I tell her as such.

  She smiles at that. The smile that captured my lonely existence.

  The one that warmed my cold heart.

  The smile that owns me.

  Shining brighter than the fucking sun.

  THE END

  Whisper – Chase Rice

  Acquainted – The Weeknd

  Sometimes I Cry – Chris Stapleton

  More Than Life – Whitley

  Waiting Game – Parson James

  Leave Your Lover (The Voice) – Caity Peters

  PILLOWTALK – Zayn

  Can’t Help Falling in Love – Haley Reinhart

  Holdin’ Her – Chris Janson

  We’ve Got Tonight (The Voice) – Laith Al-Saadi

  Came Here to Forget – Blake Shelton

  You Are My Sunshine (w/Chris Stapleton) – Morgane Stapleton

  Love Has No Pride (The Voice) – Adam Wakefield

  Just a Fool (w/Blake Shelton) – Christina Aguilera

  One and Only (The Voice) – Laith Al-Saadi

  Unlove You – Jennifer Nettles

  Dangerous Woman – Ariana Grande

  When a Man Loves a Woman (The Voice) – Meghan Linsey

  H.O.L.Y. – Florida Georgia Line

  It really does take a village to create a book. And without my tribe none of this would be possible.

  First, to the love of my life. Baby, thank you. Not only for supporting me through this completely unplanned yet amazing dream, especially when I spend more time with my words than you. But for loving me for so many years, for putting up with my crazy, and for choosing me. Even when I make it impossible to do so. Because I’ll always choose you. Always. It may not always be easy, but nothing worth having ever is. I love you, Bunny. The forever kind. Love!

  To my parents for always putting me first, to my siblings for being the light of my life, and to the rest of my family for being my backbone. I could never be me without you
all. Thank you, I love you.

  Megan, my fabulous editor. Thank you for putting up with me. From my hectic messages to my million VMs, it doesn’t matter, you’re always there. Offering your advice, input, and answering my questions. And the way you make my words shine can’t be matched. Truly, you are so talented. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. XOXO

  Stacey Ryan Blake, you’re a genius. Simple as that. Thank you for making my words so pretty. You’re stuck with me now ;) Cheers! xo

  T. BOOK THREE! LOL. From day one you pushed me to do this. You’ve stood beside me, cheered me on, and helped me more than you could ever know. Thank you for being you, for always talking me down, and HELLO your covers rock my socks. I mean, each and every one just gets better and better. I love you biggest, my friend!

  Babycakes. Thank you for always lifting me up. Your support and belief in me warms my heart and makes me smile so big. And the fact that you make time for me when you have so little to give means more than you could know. But even more than that, your friendship owns my heart. I’m so lucky to have you in my life and on my side. And even luckier that you’re one of my bestest friends ever! Your warm heart and kind soul makes you just as beautiful on the inside as the out, Babycakes. So thank you for just being you. One of the best women I’ve ever known. I love you more than the moon and the stars AND BACK AGAIN. xoxo

  Trish, the sweetest thing that side of the Mississippi. You, my sweet friend, are one of the greatest women I’ve ever known. So kind and so genuine. Thank you for getting me, for always being there, for cheering me on, and for being my kind of people. I’m so lucky to call you my bestie. Love you!

  Buttercup. You’re fierce. You’re unstoppable. So amazingly talented and wildly beautiful. And I get to call you a best friend. Thank you for your time and your support and your friendship. They all mean so much. I love you, babe. Thank you.

  Sian aka Bernie. I message you and you’re there. No questions asked. Whether it be about my words or just to talk, it doesn’t matter. I can always count on you. Despite our distance, you’re one of my closest friends and biggest supporters. Thank you, honey. Oh, and Merrick loves you ;) XXXOOO

  Chloe. I don’t think there’s anyone out there that reads my words quite like you do. Your enthusiasm and excitement is infectious. But it’s more than that. It’s the way you support me, the way you encourage me. I’m so thankful and grateful to get to call one of the most talented and loving people I know one of my best friends. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being in my corner. I love the bones of you, girlie. XOX

  Eshia Baby. Lawd, where do I begin? I need to start by thanking you. Your advice, honesty, and guidance help lead me through when I feel like I should scrap it all. And then there’s your friendship. It’s the fierce kind that’s loyal and loving and always there. Thank you for that. It’s hard to come by, but with you it’s genuine. I love you, lady. More than bacon.

  GiGi, you always make me feel like a rock star. Thank you!! Your support is amazing, and I am so lucky to have you on my side. Thanks for joining this crazy ride with me. XOXO

  To the authors and women who inspire me. Crystal, Tillie, and Rachel. Your talents astound me and make me reach for the stars. Thank you all for being a part of this journey with me by being the immensely gifted women you are. But more than that, thank you for being my friends. I cherish you all and love you dearly.

  To three of my greatest friends and supporters. Cookie, Cali, and Bambi. (Ya know, saying your names together makes you sound like a bunch of strippers HAHA!) Thank you ladies. No matter how much time passes, we always pick up right where we left off. Chatting and laughing away. I’m so thankful that this book world gave me forever friends like you. XO. Love you bunches!

  To my Lovelies. Thank you all for the support and kindness. You’re always there to like or comment on my posts and to spread the word about my books. It means so much to have a group of readers like y’all behind me. Thank you! xo

  And finally, to all the readers who took a chance on me. Whether it be for the first time with this story or back with my first, Falling Deeper. Without you none of this would be possible. Thank you all for taking that chance on a little known writer of words like me. I appreciate it more than you know. I truly hope you enjoyed Merrick and Keelynn’s story. xoxo

  Falling Deeper (Falling series book 1)

  Still Falling (Falling series book 2)

  Everything I Need (standalone)

  What to Watch for by Lucia Grace

  Falling Together (Falling series book 3)

  Inked Souls (new series)

  All I See (standalone)

  CRUSHED (Chaos series book 1)

  I am a romantic at heart and love all things love. Being an avid reader, my love for reading is what sparked my determination to put pen to paper and write my debut novel. Becoming an author is something I never planned. Writing is a dream I never knew I had. But now that I’ve started I can’t imagine doing anything else.

  When I’m not getting lost between the pages of my favorite books, or cheering on my favorite sports teams, I can be found spending time in my coastal New England town with my longtime boyfriend and our furbabies.