Everything I Need Read online

  I smile at that. Not letting myself worry about my past when I think I’m staring right into my future. “Me, too,” I whisper.

  SINCE LEAVING KEELYNN’S BED a couple of nights ago, I’ve been unable to think of anything else but her.

  And her body.

  And what getting lost in every deep curve her luscious body has to offer feels like.

  When I stopped by her bookstore the day I heard her storefront was vandalized, her sister had invited me to a dinner she was having. Now I’m sitting outside of a fairly new, large Cape Cod-styled home with an attached three-car garage, wondering what in the hell I’m doing here.

  But I know why I’m here. For a pair of deep green eyes and a smile so bright it shines on all of the darkness that consumes me.

  Heaving a deep breath, I step out of the cab of my truck just as the front door to the house swings open. After slamming the driver’s side door, I look up and all the breath from my lungs leaves on a whoosh. While my blood rushes hot and wild and fierce through my veins, my heart, straight to my dick.

  Jesus Christ almighty.

  Standing there, the light of the house a backdrop to her beauty, is Keelynn. The house doesn’t sit far off the road and the sun hasn’t yet fully set, so I can see her as clear as day as she makes her way to me. Fitted, long-sleeved dress hitting to her knees. Feet bare. Beauty paralyzing.

  Every dream I never knew I had.

  Willing my dick to calm the fuck down, I take the couple steps up onto the walkway, meeting her halfway.

  I look at her. She smiles. And it’s like a punch to the gut every fucking time, she’s so stunning. Long dark hair. Deep green eyes. Golden skin. And a dazzling fucking smile that nearly brings me to my knees. No one has ever affected me like Keelynn does. No one.

  Not even…I can’t even think her name without a tidal wave of guilt crashing over me. But it’s the truth, no matter how painful it is to admit.

  She’s a ray of sunshine standing there staring up at me. Huge smile across her beautifully plump lips. Green eyes bright and wide and holding me fucking captive in her beauty. Her goodness. Fuck.

  Shy eyes turn down to look at the sidewalk below our feet as a blush covers her cheeks. Her small hands fidget with the hem at her knees. I’m staring, I know, but I can’t help it. The green dress she’s wearing highlights her golden skin and brightens her eyes to an impossibly alluring color. The soft cotton hugs every luscious curve, cinching at her waist to give her the hourglass figure I can still feel beneath my hands.

  I breathe a deep breath to rein in my growing arousal and fucking need before lifting my hand. Making a fist, I gently bring it below her delicate chin to tip her head up. I want her eyes. I need that smile back on her face, shining around me.

  “You look fucking gorgeous, Sunshine.”

  And there it is.

  Bright.

  Beautiful.

  Fucking blinding perfection on her perfect face.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, tough guy.” Her blush cascades down her chest as she flattens her palms to the material on her dress and smooths out nonexistent wrinkles on her hips. The only tell that she’s nervous.

  I smirk at her then. So damn cute standing there barefoot and nervous and robbing me of any coherent thought.

  Bright and blinding and perfect. So perfect.

  Her chest heaves, my eyes drawn to the hint of cleavage, before her words snap my eyes back to hers. “I’ll never get tired of seeing those full lips lifting, even in the smallest of smiles.” Her tone is almost breathless.

  In awe.

  “Wish I saw it more. But I’ll take what I can get.”

  I clear my throat. Unease wrapping around me like a vine, because somehow she pulls at the parts of my heart and soul I thought were long dead.

  She doesn’t know my smiles used to be often and full. But she sees me enough to know they’re rare now.

  “Should we head in?” My question completely ignoring her comments.

  She just keeps looking up at me before nodding her head in understanding. In surrender. “Sure thing, tough guy.”

  Spinning around, she makes to move back into the house, but my hand on her arm halts her steps. “I think you forgot something.” My voice rumbles between us. But confusion just settles over her features.

  “Wha—”

  She doesn’t even get one word out before I’m reeling her in like the catch of my life and pulling her to my chest. A gasp floats out between her perfectly plump, pink lips, and I snatch it right up. My lips descending to hers.

  Tasting.

  Taking.

  Claiming.

  Right there in front of her sister’s house. Not giving one fucking damn if anyone can see us.

  I couldn’t let her walk away without getting my fill and erasing that look on her face. The one that had so many questions, but settled with defeat because she knows I won’t open up to her like she so freely has with me.

  Her light moans have me pulling back. Reluctantly. Tracing my tongue along her bottom lip as I go.

  I don’t want to stop. Never want to stop. But I was about three seconds away from becoming indecent in public. Wanting to rip that soft dress from her lush body and take her right here.

  “Wow,” she breathes. The one word chock-full of so much.

  “Didn’t really think you’d get away without kissing me. Did you, Sunshine?” I run my hands along her sides. Skimming the bottom of her tits down to her flared hips. “Couldn’t go all night without a taste.”

  Her flush from the kiss blushes deeper. Goddamn.

  Fucking perfection.

  “Let’s get inside before I steal you away. Don’t think your sister would appreciate that.”

  She giggles at that. “It’d break poor LeeLee’s heart, too.” Green eyes peer up at me through dark lashes. “She’s been talking nonstop about her Auntie KeeKee’s friend, Mr. Merrick, coming to dinner. She loves to entertain.”

  There’s that unease again. Wrapping and suffocating.

  I curtly nod then she releases herself from my hold, turns, and walks up the walkway to the front door.

  Following behind, I can’t even enjoy the swing of her hips and that ass, because my heart is pounding at seeing Lena again. Knowing she could bring back thoughts and memories and a life I try so hard to forget.

  “Look who I found,” she exclaims as she pushes the door open.

  An excited giggle filters through the air as I hear Campbell and a male voice make their way to the entryway.

  “‘Bout damn time, sister. He showed up ten minutes ago. You get lost from the road to the house? You know, those fifty feet are quite a stretch.” Campbell’s blonde hair swishes as she laughs. Knowing smile on her face.

  Keelynn chokes out an embarrassed laugh. “Just talking before we came inside to the crazy.” She tries to play it off. But that blush hides nothing.

  Neither does the smile.

  “Uh huh.” Her sister not picking up one ounce of what Keelynn’s putting down.

  Behind Campbell and her wide grin steps a man with a little girl attached to his hip.

  Seeing Lena hits me like a punch to the gut. She’s younger than Lila would be now, and they look nothing alike, except for those blue eyes. But she has the same infectious personality that bubbles out and overflows. Taking over everyone around her.

  I breathe deeply through my nose to steady myself. Reminding myself that I can do this. That Lena isn’t Lila.

  Keelynn places a small hand to my arm before addressing her family in front of us.

  A little round face with big blue eyes looks up at me. Damn, she’s cute.

  Keelynn addresses her niece first. “You remember Merrick, don’t you, LeeLee?”

  Blonde curled pigtails bob as she nods her head. “Yep!” She waves from her spot next to who I assume is her father.

  “And this is my brother-in-law.”

  “Hey, man. I’m Mason. This nut’s husband.” He hikes a t
humb over his shoulder at Campbell before extending his hand to shake mine.

  A small barely there laugh escapes me at his comment while I return the gesture. “Merrick Hughes. Nice to meet you.” My full name slips off my tongue like second nature.

  I hear a light gasp come from Keelynn next to me. Her shock rippling through me. Because I hadn’t shared my last name with her yet.

  She doesn’t make a comment about it though. Just gives me a tentative smile when I look at her before bringing her eyes to her family before us.

  An oomph comes from Mason as his wife backhands his stomach before walking over to me. “Ignore him. He thinks he’s such a jokester,” she says as she rolls her eyes. “Glad you could make it, Merrick.” Leaning in, she surprises the hell out of me when she hugs me.

  I clear my throat. “Thanks for having me.”

  She smiles as she pulls back. Then looks around at all of us in the foyer. “Okay then! Now that we’re all here. Who’s hungry?”

  “Meeeeeeee! I’m so hungry.” Lena pats her six-year-old tummy while looking up at her mother as if she’s famished. “I haven’t eaten in like…forever!”

  We all laugh at Lena’s excitement and dramatics. Mine coming out strained. Her little voice bringing back memories from a different time…a different life.

  I LOOK AROUND THE TABLE. Staring at the faces of the people that mean the most to me in this world.

  Then my eyes settle on Merrick and my heart flutters a two-step around my chest.

  I sigh out loud. I know I do because Campbell looks over to me from her seat next to me, eyes and smile knowing. She shakes her head lightly as her smile grows a touch, then goes back to listening to her daughter across the table.

  She’s sitting right next to Merrick. Her small, cute self next to all his big and tough and brooding. Chattering away as he listens intently to what she’s saying. Her days at school. The new book I just gave her. How she wants to grow up to be a real life princess. With a castle, knight in shining armor, and all.

  My heart is so full right now I can barely contain it.

  A giggle bursts from LeeLee’s wide smile. Her shoulders bounce with the force of her laugh. It garners all our attention. Her happy and bright shining all around us, capturing us in her joy.

  Merrick stares intently at her. As if he’s lost in thought and soaking up all that little girl’s goodness all at once. Then, as if it spread right through him, a gorgeous smile overtakes his beautifully rugged face. It’s small, but it’s there, and it looks so right.

  “Can you believe it, Mr. Merrick? Daddy was wearing a tiara and a necklace!”

  “Hey now!” Mason interjects Lena’s fit of giggles. “That was supposed to be our little secret, princess. Remember?” His voice is stern but his face is stretched in a big goofy grin. All that mock anger nothing but a front. He’s a big pile of goo when it comes to his little girl.

  “Daddy!” Lena squeals. “But it was so funny! Oh, oh, I think next time we should do your makeup, too!” Her exuberance and laughter fill the entire room.

  Mason gasps in shock. Still playing along with his baby girl. “I draw the line at makeup, little LeeLee. You may be able to get me into a necklace and wear a tiara. But no way are you rubbing that stuff on my face.”

  More giggles and laughter fill the room. Lena’s tinkling laughter ringing out the loudest.

  She gets up then and moves around the table to get to her daddy. Tiny arms wrap around his neck as she presses a loud kiss to his cheek.

  My heart warms at the sight. I see my sister melt right in her spot at the affection between her husband and daughter.

  Then I see Merrick and my heart gets heavy. Because the pain etched across his face can’t be masked. He looks troubled and lost. Lonely. Like he’s missing a whole lot right about now.

  He must sense my eyes on him because his gaze swings to me and his face goes blank. I know my face holds a whole lot of questions right about now. But he just ignores it, shuffling the last bit of food around on his plate.

  When Campbell stands a minute later to start cleaning off the table, he stands, too. Clearing his throat. “Let me help you.”

  “Oh no, Merrick. You’re a guest. Please. Sit.”

  “You cooked this amazing meal. Let me help.”

  Foolish sister. She should know a man like Merrick can’t be told what to do.

  She nods her head and agrees. “All right then. Can’t argue with that.”

  When Merrick turns and leaves to go to the kitchen, Mason following with the plates his wife had, Campbell turns to me and starts the inquisition I knew would be coming as soon as we were alone.

  “I thought nothing was going on, sister.”

  “I told you I didn’t know what was—”

  “Well,” she interrupts me, “I think more’s going on than you want to admit. Because I saw that kiss outside before you came in, KeeKee. That man kissed you like he’d damn near die without you.”

  “Momma, you said a naughty word,” Lena interjects. Reminding us she’s still here.

  “You’re right, LeeLee. She did say a naughty word.” I eye my sister. Agreeing with Lena.

  She rolls her eyes at me before addressing her daughter. “Sorry, princess. I’ll be more careful next time.”

  Then her eyes hit me again. “I mean, after what you told me happened the other day, I dang well know something more has to be going on than you think. No way would it be that passionate and not be something special. But what I witnessed tonight seems to be much more than even I expected.”

  I haven’t told her about what happened the next night. When Merrick showed up so late and ravaged my body like he owned every inch.

  And I’m inclined to believe he does.

  It isn’t that I don’t want to tell Campbell, it’s that I know she’ll start filling my head with happily ever afters and white picket fences. Things I’m already thinking about. If this were anyone else then I wouldn’t hesitate.

  But it isn’t anyone else. It’s Merrick, as it should be, and although he holds me tight and loves my body so right, outside of that we aren’t anything more. We barely talk outside of running into each other. Those two nights are the most I’ve ever felt, ever, but we don’t even call or text. We haven’t gone on a date. Although he did come here tonight. But that was because Campbell invited him. Nothing more.

  I haven’t even seen him since he left early Thursday morning, after the night we had of passion and fire and heat so wicked he scorched my heart and soul.

  So even though I want to let my heart run wild and free when it comes to Merrick Hughes, I’m smart enough to know he’s holding back. Which means I have to as well.

  I can’t let my heart fall any more than it already has until I know where he stands.

  And since I hadn’t known his last name until tonight, when he let it slip, I’d say he’s standing further away than I’d hoped.

  Campbell watches me expectantly. I shrug. Before I can say anything, we’re interrupted by deep male voices.

  “Thought I’d bring in the coffee along with the cookies you made for dessert since I was coming back in,” Mason says, walking back into the dining room. Placing the coffee pot and platter down on the table.

  Merrick places mugs down next. Dark, dark eyes piercing into mine.

  “Thanks, sweetie.” Campbell tips her head back as her husband walks by her.

  He kisses the smile on her face. “No problem, baby. Gotta help my woman when I can.” He winks. Cheeky as all hell.

  I roll my eyes as she giggles. LeeLee joining her momma before she starts waving her hands about.

  “Oh, oh, oh! Hurry up and eat dessert! I’ve got a surprise after!” Her little face beams and brightens.

  “A surprise?” I gasp. I have no doubts that our Frozen talk from earlier has her head spinning with ideas on how to entertain our guest.

  Merrick has no clue what he’s in for.

  “And hurry through dessert? Who are you and wh
at have you done with my most favorite niece ever? She would never”—I stress the word, sounding anguished and exasperated—”rush through dessert when she knows it’s her Auntie KeeKee’s favorite part of dinner.”

  Giggles ring out again and she shakes her head. “I’m just way excited to show you!”

  We all tuck into a cup of coffee—milk for LeeLee—and a couple cookies each. Chattering away again about how our weeks were and just catching up. Mason brings up what happened at the bookstore. I see Merrick tense, his hand fisting tightly on the table next to his coffee mug, so I quickly divert the conversation by changing the subject.

  They all can tell what I’m doing, but no one calls me out on it. I just don’t want to get into anything because I know Campbell and Mason agree with Merrick. That I should report what happened in case something else happens. But I just want to move on. I’m okay, the shop’s okay, and nothing has been amiss since that day.

  Once conversations start to die down, and coffees and desserts have been finished, Lena jumps up from her seat and scurries from the room. Telling us all to go into the living room and take a seat. “The show’s about to go on,” she sings.

  Mason settles into the oversized recliner he’s deemed the ‘man throne’ and pulls Campbell onto his lap. While Merrick and I sit side by side on the love seat. Thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. Oh how I’d love for him to bring his strong arm around me and hold me tight.

  Then in walks LeeLee. Microphone in hand. Dressed to the nines. Little radio playing a familiar song.

  Here we go.

  She stands there in her princess dress. Tiara gleaming on top of her curly, blonde head. Microphone to her lips as she belts out “Let It Go” from memory.

  No shame or embarrassment. Just free and innocent and all little girl.

  Mason and Campbell chuckle and smile as their daughter serenades us. Oohing and ahhing at her diva ways. Those two all too used to Lena and her antics. The little ham that she is.

  Merrick sits next to me on the couch. Seeming to be lost in thought with a barely there smile gracing his rugged, handsome face. Watching my little niece sing and prance and sway to the beat of her own drum.

  As the final notes ring out, we all stand in applause. Cheering and whistling.